The Elite Squad

From left to right, their names are Billy, Quinten, Freddy, Jimmy, Alfred, Arthur, Parcy


The Elite Squad is made up of 7 second-rate barbers and dentists. They all have somewhat lame technology, which doesn't come as much of a surprise. They are from Zmania, after all...


Door Charge: This is used to blow open doors and gain access to different areas. It makes lots of sound and light, so it's not great for undercover missions.

The Little Stinger: This is the pistol they carry. It is very small and portable, but it hardly breaks through the skin. It is quite annoying though, as it has amazing precision and can embed itself in your eye. Ouch.

Splat: This grenade explodes, sending an acidic paint splattering. If it gets on someone it will bring the hurt on them, and probably dye them an embarrassing color.

The Cheese: This is the main weapon they carry. It's a lazy, slow-firing gun with an even lazier blast under barrel. The explosion has a whopping 8-inch blast radius, dissolving anything made of cheese. Anything else just gets a pretty bad headache.

Scissors: These are used to cut hair.

Comb: Combs help the barbers use their scissors with more accuracy.

Nuke: It's actually just a blow-drier. They call it a nuke to sound tough.


  • Freddy got his eyepatch when he slipped on some hair and dropped the scissors on his eye, now he has no depth perception.
    • Come to think of it, why is he even a barber?